


Holiday Spirit

by Misaya



Series: Cooking With Peasants [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cooking, Established Levi/Erwin Smith, Established Relationship, KinkyCook!Levi, Lingerie, M/M, Masturbation, Sex Toys Under Clothing, Vibrators, YouTube, pervin, really bad cooking puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-30 19:20:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5176709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misaya/pseuds/Misaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi ate Erwin's salt and vinegar chips without asking; that, and the fact that it was the last bag in the pantry, made the act doubly criminal, and Erwin thinks up a rather fitting punishment. </p>
<p>KinkyCook!Levi x Pervin make a return for rib roast, holiday edition.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holiday Spirit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Peach_oniisan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peach_oniisan/gifts).



> Happy Birthday! <3

It was getting to the holiday season, and Erwin had been goggling over Levi’s turkey breasts for quite a few weeks now, as his star chef of a boyfriend had been frantically practicing with the carving knife for his Thanksgiving debut. The creamy flesh that peeled away from the golden glistening skin had him feeling things that he absolutely should not have been feeling, and he couldn’t help but be reminded of how Levi looked all gleaming with massage oil, pliant and whimpering under Erwin’s hands. Erwin had been so taken with the image of Levi glistening with oil that he might or might not have had rabid fantasies of painting Levi with extra virgin, though, indeed, that was the direct opposite of what he was.

No kitchen surface had gone unsullied. Erwin was sure that if they’d taken a black light to the place, Levi would be utterly horrified and demand a new set of appliances right away.

Erwin watched as Levi expertly mashed potatoes with his ricer, flicking in pats of butter and pinches of salt, all but dancing his way across the kitchen, his lovely ass all but jiggling in his dark wash denim jeans that Erwin loved to peel off him like slicking off the casing of a sausage. Watching Levi now, Erwin thought he would definitely have to try his best to convince him to do an episode where he was only wearing the top, an apron, and frilly lacy underwear. Perhaps for Valentine’s Day.

But no. Not now. The weather was getting to be far too cold to go traipsing around an airy studio kitchen in frilly underwear, and he definitely couldn’t have Levi catching a cold, not when he had so many plans for him, some of which vaguely involved decorating Levi’s body like a banana split. One could guess what the banana in question was. There was no need to elaborate on that particular aspect of the male anatomy.

Hmm. Erwin tapped his fingers along the granite countertop as he watched Levi carve through a particularly plump looking rib roast that oozed juicy into the dish. The meat bulged out obscenely from between the twine Levi had tied it with, and Erwin couldn’t help but think of how Levi’s pretty little cock might look stuffed into a thong.

His notes to himself that he stored on his iPhone overflowed with Lenny faces.

Watching Levi work with the twine had him pulling out his phone and doing two things: snapping a very gratuitous video of Levi bending obscenely over the counter as he reached for a wooden spatula, and typing out a hasty reminder to himself to look into purchasing jute ropes.

* * *

 

A few weeks later, Levi found himself caught in quite the compromising position. He had been relaxing on the couch, flicking through Netflix and absentmindedly stuffing Erwin’s favorite brand of kettle chips into his mouth. In fact, his tongue had just wrapped around the ball of his thumb to suck off a bit of salty dusting when Erwin had all but slammed into the living room, the beast awoken by the cry of its damsel in distress (Lays brand Kettle Chips, Salt and Vinegar Flavor).

Levi was caught red-handed, a potato chip halfway to his mouth, and Erwin chose that moment to pounce.

“Aha!” he cried, triumphant at having caught Levi in the illicit act. It was the last bag in the pantry, too, of this Erwin was quite sure, and that just made the act doubly as criminal. “You said you didn’t even like Lays!”

Levi swallowed. Crunched down on the potato chip nevertheless. The sound had Erwin darting across the room, all but smacking Levi’s hand away from the (now-empty) bag and pressing a kiss to his mouth that tasted strongly of vinegar.

“I…I like to get laid?” Levi clarified, but Erwin was having none of it.

“You’ve been horrifically naughty,” he scolded, and Levi gawped up at him, crumbs all over the corners of his mouth. “And bad cooks need to be punished, now don’t they?”

Punishment. Now that was something Levi could get behind, especially if the gleaming look in Erwin’s eyes was anything to go by. Erwin looked like the child who’d gotten the last cookie in the jar, and who was Levi to oppose his whims?

* * *

 

“Welcome to the next episode of Cooking With Peasants,” Levi informed the camera, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he looked nervously at the red recording light. Erwin stood behind the tripod, drinking in the sight with great relish like a particularly refreshing glass of champagne. “This is the holiday edition. A rib roast, medium rare.”

Levi’s face was flushed, but had anyone been suspicious, they could just chalk it up to the heat in the kitchen. Surely bending over a hot oven would do that to you, and admittedly, while they’d been setting up, Erwin had taken a few well deserved whacks at Levi’s plump cheeks, all but held in with a little red number with bows all along the back that were vaguely reminiscent of a turkey’s tail feathers.

The holiday spirit, and all that.

Levi swallowed as Erwin grinned wickedly and clicked on the little remote he held in his hand. A light buzzing started up, but it was nothing the camera would pick up, and surely the noise of the traffic outside would deter anyone from thinking anything else was amiss.

“Now then, in order to make your rib roast, we’re going to need a good rub.” Oh, yes. That was the ticket. That’s what was missing. Erwin unzipped his pants and shoved his hand in unceremoniously to stroke at himself as he thumbed at the dial and grinned lecherously, ignoring Levi’s glare.

“Salt, pepper, some thyme, some – ah – some oregano.” Levi chewed at the swell of his lower lip as Erwin panned the video camera over the small bowls of ingredients Levi had set out prior to filming, with the rationale that he very well couldn’t be going into the pantry and showing off the little panties Erwin had bought him. Erwin had acquiesced, because even the thought of anyone else seeing Levi in his little turkey trousers had him seeing red as the inside of a tomato.

“Now you want to take your meat out of the packaging.” Yep, Erwin thought to himself as he wriggled his way out of his pants and jerked his cock out of his underwear unceremoniously, his jeans pooling on the floor. Levi’s eyes were riveted on the way the head of Erwin’s meat peeked out over the curl of his fist with every loose stroke. He had once compared it to a summer sausage, a saucisson grande, and Erwin had bitten him on the neck and told him to stop speaking Chinese. “Give it a good, firm slap or two. To redistribute the juices.” Erwin was all but salivating at the thought of taking Levi over his knee and giving him a leisurely spanking while the roast was in the oven, and he thumbed up the dial a little more.

Levi gave a startled moan, a gasp, and then winced up at the camera thoroughly unconvincingly. “Sorry, banged my knee on the countertop,” he breathed, eyebrows furrowed, lips quivering as he started to massage the dry rub into the slab of meat. Erwin sighed softly, biting at his lip as he watched Levi rolling the heels of his hands into the roast. If one were watching very closely, one would be able to tell Levi was rocking slightly into the presses, his hips probably rolling up against the cabinets, and Erwin wondered what the bows looked like, bouncing with Levi’s twitches.

Levi’s eyebrows were furrowed with ecstasy, eyelashes fanning out across his cheekbones like the fanciest of serviettes at your mother-in-law’s dinner party, and Erwin took great pleasure in watching Levi come undone, shaking, trembling fingers tugging at the loops of twine already set out on the counter.

“Nnn, now then, you’ll – ah – want to be tying it up,” Levi whimpered, the flush more than apparent now. Tying it up? Yes, Erwin certainly would be after this episode. Levi’s fingers faltered, a low whine choking its way from his throat as his hands lost their already unsteady grips on the twine, dropping it to the granite as he clutched white knuckled at the edge of the counter.

Erwin sorely wished he could have a back view. He was sure Levi was the sassiest turkey in town, twitching his tail feathers every which way and then some.

The buzzing was more than evident now, but neither he nor Levi seemed to care. Levi was far too gone, far too worked up, clutching and pulsing around the vibrator Erwin had nudged into him some hours earlier like a stocking stuffer, and if he chanced a look down, below the ridge of the counter, he could see the flushed, weeping head of his cock peeking out from the waistband of the bright red panties. The sight of Erwin stroking himself like one might like lovingly peel a cucumber wasn’t helping, and Levi barely had the presence of mind to keep on with the recipe.

“Y-you’ll want to have your oven set to four –“ He cut off, the vibrator picking up a notch in intensity, sending him clinging to the counter for dear life as he sobbed, his head dropping between his shoulders. It was rubbing right up against his prostate, deliciously, one might venture to say. “Four twenty –“

“Blaze it,” Erwin whispered to the camera, grinning deliriously as Levi came undone. He tightened his fist around his cock, rubbing sticky fluid back into the head.

“Four twenty-five!” Levi all but shrieked, his hands curling into fists on the countertop, his moans dissolving into a half sob, half shriek as he came, staining the sides of the counter yet again, the vibrator working him vigorously through the crests.

It tapered off, rather kindly, through his aftershocks, and he slumped down to the tile floor, quivering and thinking that the strings of come on the mahogany looked rather reminiscent of the icing he’d put on his Christmas cinnamon rolls. Perhaps it was a sign of more things to come?

“Come on, Levi, up and at ‘em,” Erwin commanded him. “Put the roast in the oven, why don’t you?”

Levi stood up shakily, grinning loosely at the camera, utterly fucked out as he mumbled something about placing the roast in the oven for roughly eighteen years and then sending it off to college to get a good education.

“I’m Levi, and that was Cooking with Peasants, Rib Roast,” he said rather blissfully, leaning against the counter and grinning as Erwin clicked the camera off and moved towards Levi, his cock still hard and bobbing flushed between his thighs.

“And then what, Levi?” Erwin asked, his eyes gleaming.

“You let the meat rest for a bit,” Levi murmured, eyes riveted on Erwin’s cock. “To let the juices settle.” He licked at his upper lip for good measure.

Erwin grinned as Levi got to his knees once again, and thumbed the dial up.


End file.
